Change of Plans

Bug and I had made big plans around our second Valentines together. The Olympics were coming to town and we thought it would be best if we were far far away.
We decided to do a road trip. We'd drive to the men's gathering in Oregon again; Valentine's Day was on the Sunday of that weekend. Then we'd head down to San Fransisco and visit friend's in Berkeley. Then it was even farther south for fun filled days at Disneyland and on our way home we'd stop off in Vegas for a few nights.
It was going to be an adventure!
Our first stop was Vashon Island where we had the bloody heal incident with the jacuzzi tub. That wasn't the way to start a road trip adventure.
Next we went to the men's gathering and had an OK time at first, but after another day it was clear that we weren't having much fun at all. We both took on more and more stress. Finally on Valentine's morning we woke up together in the familiar double bed from our first time there. We had a cabin mate who was still in deep slumber so Bug and I whispered Happy Valentine's to each other and exchanged kisses. Then we talked about how un-enjoyable the past few days had been since we ventured from home. We talked about what was ahead for our Bug and Stitch Road Trip: 2010. The more we talked about heading south, the more stressed we felt.
I made the suggestion that we could just turn around and go home. Bug's body visibly relaxed and that charming grin appeared on his face. We both lightened with giddiness and the though of being home overwhelmed us.
It was decided that we'd leave the gathering as soon as possilbe, even though there was still another day. I packed up our things and we set out mid-afternoon. We stayed at our friend Pansy's home in Portland for a couple nights and rolled into Burnaby the Wednesday after February fourteenth.
The relief we both felt at being home coursed through our bodies. We didn't feel any disappointment at cutting our road trip short.
We learned a big lesson that trip; planning a month long trip was too much for us. We bit off more than we could chew, so to speak and shorter trips would be better for us. We could still go to all the places that we'd planned, just go to them individually, spread out over time.
I got on the computer a few days later and booked us a flight to LA.
We were going to Disneyland in May!
The following September we stayed with our friends in Berkeley for a long weekend.
We have yet to make it to Vegas but that'll happen.

This Valentine's I surprised Bug with an over night trip to Seattle. We drove down on the 14th and stayed overnight at a Ramada hotel right downtown. We walked to a mall nearby and had supper then went to a romantic comedy. It was a wonderful way to enjoy Valentine's with my boyfriend. He bought me lovely helium filled balloons and an over-sized card with monkey's on it and inside it said 'It's Valentine's Day! Wanna monkey around?'. Taped inside was a gift card for a favorite bookstore of mine.
The best part about this Valentine's was that we were together, simple.

Until the next time...

The First I Love You

I wanted the first time I told Bug that I loved him to be special.
My feelings for him had been growing and those three words were on the tip of my tongue, but I refrained from blurting them out.
Our first Valentine's happened to be during the men's gathering in central Oregon. We were greeted on our second morning by Cupid's day.
Bug had gone shopping with his Mom for a present for me and I had a bag of chocolaty/peanut-butter goodies hidden in my luggage for him. Bug's gift to me was carefully concealed in a bag that I had to pack with his belongings.
We woke up together in a double bed in one of the thermally heated cabins. Bug had a huge grin and asked if I wanted to open my present. In the bag was a beautiful heart shaped box stuffed with assorted chocolates. There was a metal key tied to the box as a decoration. I freed it from the red ribbon and put it with my house and car keys.
I gave Bug his present and said, 'I love you.'
But this wasn't the first time.
Nope, I'd professed my love a day earlier.
Each morning of this five day retreat there was something called a Heart Circle. This tradition was taken from the First Nations' talking circle. A talking circle is where members of a community circle up and a talisman is handed around. Whoever has the talisman, or talking stick, has the floor and cannot be interrupted. Everyone present is to give their attention to the speaker. Our group took this premise and called it a Heart Circle. Specifically it's to encourage men to speak what's in their hearts. Instead of a talking stick each person who speaks wear's a shawl.
I brought Bug to Heart Circle on our first morning and after listening to several men share I was moved to speak.
I got up and the shawl was placed on my shoulders from the fellow who had spoken before me. I pulled the shawl in tightly around my torso and started pacing around the circle of friends and strangers. I knew what I wanted to say, but I wasn't sure how it was going to come out.
It went something like this...
'I've been fortunate... blessed, to have someone come into my life recently. He's swooped in and single-handedly changed everything. I was prepared to be single and had no intention of meeting anyone, but I guess someone had different plans...'
Honestly I don't remember exactly what I said, but I blathered on, teared up, made my friends cry and ultimately told Bug that I loved him.
He was sitting in his wheelchair in pink pajamas with this kookie cat pattern and gave a nervous laugh, then said he loved me too.
Later I asked him if it was OK I had done that. I told him that I always wanted to remember the first time I told him I loved him. I figured I probably wouldn't forget it if I made an announcement in the middle of a circle of men.
Besides I only get to tell him I love him for the first time once.
Bug laughed and said I was being a dork. Yes it was OK that I had told a bunch of strangers that I loved him.
How else would I have done it?
Lots of times when I'm fishing my keys out of my pocket to unlock my home, or I'm starting my car, I'll see the key from the heart shaped box of chocolates and be wonderfully reminded of Bug's love for me.

Until the next time...