programs about the people's uprising in Egypt. My eyes teared up as my heart went out to all those hundreds of thousands of people rallying in that huge square in Cairo. They got what they wanted. Their President resigned.I've often struggled with what my purpose is in this life.
I have a son who's brought an incredible focus to my life, but we see each other minimally through a month. I sometimes lament that I haven't had much of an influence on him. I know I've got lots of great traits and being a part-time parent makes me wonder how much exposure he's had to my thoughts, beliefs and ideas of the world.
I had worked at a very stressful career before I decided that it was murdering my soul to stay. I took a year off to get my head clear of the abuses from working in such a stress filled environment. It was during the summer of The Year Off that I met Bug.
We'd chatted in an online chatroom off and on over a couple of years. There were several months sometimes between conversations, but it was during my summer off that something shifted for me. Our conversations were more consistent and fun. He answered any and all questions with a forthrightness and honesty that moved me.
He kept encouraging me to come over.
I kept putting him off.
Finally I relented and said I'd come over to' satisfy our curiosity' about each other.
He typed back, 'i cant promise i wont jump yur bones.'
It was on our eighth date when something in me cracked open and I understood my purpose.
I had picked Bug up and brought him back to my place where I'd made dinner. While I was setting the table or fussing over something I announced that this was our eighth date. Bug paused and looked at me with those incredibly beautiful brown eyes and said, 'I've never had an eighth date before.'
The reality of that statement seared through me. The realization that I've been responsible to give this man his third, fourth, seventh, eighth dates was shocking. I was awed by the responsibility that comes from being involved with a person who has a disability.
Then the possibilities of what I could bring to his life flooded me. I could take him traveling. I could show him the world.
Later, after I'd dropped him off at home and got him comfortably and safely tucked into his bed. After I'd turned out all the lights, locked the door and returned to my car, that's when it dawned on me the possibilities of change in my life by having Bug be a part of it.
I had no idea about what a disabled person's life could be like.
I didn't know what it meant to be disabled.
As I've gotten to know Bug, I've realized that even the word disability is limiting and confusing. The word disabled can apply to so many different situations: being blind is a disability, deaf, downs syndrome, a person who was fully able bodied then suffers an accident can become disabled. Even amongst people with cerebral palsy the disability is a varied as the person.
I had no idea!
Being with Bug has opened up my mind and heart in ways that I had no idea could be opened. Being his caregiver has given me a focus and I feel like I'm doing good.
I see the difference I've made in Bug's life.
We laugh every day. I didn't have this with my last work environment.
To walk into Bug's bedroom in the morning and be greeted by his smile cements for me that I'm in the right place at the right time.
So when I see the images of the crowds waving flags and shouting for a free Egypt, I get it.
I get how change is so important.
I understand what it means to have a purpose.
Until the next time...
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