Thirteen years difference

There's almost thirteen years age difference between Bug and myself.
Lucky thirteen.
I was just beginning grade seven on a small farm near the Shuswap Lake when Bug was being born at Saint Paul's Hospital on Burrard Street. Four years later I had my driver's license, my first girlfriend and was acting in community theatre in Salmon Arm and Bug was- well- he was four. When I was sitting in the movie theatre watching Breakfast Club with my friends, Bug was five and home with his parents. A year later, in nineteen eighty-five, when I graduated from high school and went off to college, Bug was starting grade one. And when Bug was receiving his high school diploma, my son was soon going to have his first birthday.
Sometimes when I hear a favorite song on the radio I'll tell Bug how old he was when it first came out; on the rare occasion he wasn't even born yet. Or if we watch an old movie I'll do the math and figure out how old Bug was when I'd seen it in the movie theatre. He'll say, 'Why didn't you come and get me?' I'll joke and say 'Yeah, Hi Mr. and Mrs. Bug's Parents I've come to take your ten year old son to see the first sequel of the Back to the Future franchise (I was already living in Vancouver by this point)'. We have a good laugh at the image of me as a young adult taking this kid to a movie. It all looks and feels innocent, until we add the fact that we're now in a sexual relationship, then it gets kind of creepy.
I've had one boyfriend prior to Bug who was much younger than me, but for the most part I've dated older guys. It was not my intention to be in a relationship with a man over a decade younger than me. There's a beauty to Bug's youthfulness and I know that my past relationship experiences have helped him. I've done a lot of work on myself and have gone through much of the insecurity that can crop up in new relationships.
I'm Bug's first boyfriend and I have a responsibility as someone who's been around the block a couple times to take care, nurture, encourage and support Bug as he navigates through all the feelings that come up for him. I don't worry about our age difference, in fact I think it's helped us.
I was in my mid-twenties when I had my only long-term relationship with a man, it lasted five years. We were both working through our own shit. It was a very dark time for both of us and we really hurt each other, I dare say damaged each other. I'm so glad that Bug isn't my first boyfriend and that I'm not doing the basic work I did in my twenties of loving myself and then trying to help him. Yikes! The thought of that makes my brain ache.
We each bring gifts and strengths to this relationship. Bug is a pretty easy going guy. He's got a great sense of humor and has an ease about the way he conducts himself. He's a good balance for my extroverted, energetic, gotta-get-it-done attitude. He calms me and I energize him.
I don't know if it was luck that brought Bug and I together, besides the fact that technology had a big part in it (thank you internet!), but I know this is the relationship for me.
Lucky thirteen.

Until the next time...